Well, school is out for the summer!!! Woo-hoo! I am enjoying a well-deserved summer vacation. Wait....I have children of my own!!! Two girls. That means, I am temporarily experiencing being a stay-at-home mom. My second full-time job begins on my last day as a teacher. Let me first take my hat off to all of the parents who stay at home with children 24-7. It is NOT easy. First of all, I am NOT used to feeding my children three meals per day, except for weekends and vacations. The little one will demand nothing less than three, with snacks in between!! She is the greediest. :) My children demand ALL of my attention. They get bored very easily and for some reason, feel that I am their playmate. I try to explain to the oldest that her baby sister exists for a purpose.....to be HER playmate! That doesn't seem to get through to her though. LOL. Despite my dire need to rest and relax, I understand that it is my duty to be there for my children, and give them what they need to be successful in the future.
There is one main characteristic that shows up in many of my students.....the lack of attention at home. Too many of us depend on other outlets to entertain and educate our babies. Yes, Sesame Street and Dora can be educational, but they are not enough. It has also been proven that too much electronic stimuli can hinder children when the time comes for them to display creativity in the classroom. I witness the damage as I try to teach my students, and unless I display a large amount of creativity, they do not learn efficiently as they should. They are used to vivid, bright images that move and bounce around. That, of course, does not describe me! I am a very fun and enthusiastic teacher, but it can be very difficult to grasp and keep their attention at all times. I must continuously have their attention being that the pace of the courses can be so strenuous. I must teach them everything they may see on the tests given at the end of the year. This task has become more difficult since testing has become the main focus in education, and the worst tool used to gauge whether students have mastered the information.
With this being said, I want to encourage all parents to take an active part of your child's life and most importantly, their EDUCATION. Without a proper education, they will have a difficult time handling life's lemons. With an education and strong foundation, lemonade can be squeezed out of those lemons. Without it....well, there are several paths that lead down treacherous roads that will definitely leave a sour taste in their mouths. The sad thing is that I have an advanced education, and it is far from easy. My needs are met and even some of my wants, but as a teacher, I am severely underpaid. I actually work for the lowest paying districts in my area!!! I have an undergraduate degree, but make less than some people who have never stepped foot on a college campus! When will the decision-makers wake up and see that what you pay a person greatly influences the quality of the product expected. I do my best, but imagine how much better I would perform in the classroom if I knew that I was appreciated and cherished. How much a person is paid, surely expresses how appreciated and cherished an employee really is to a company.
There has always been a saying, "it takes a village to raise a child". I feel this was true back in the day, and is more so true now. However, the first experiences that a child receives come from the first hut in that village the they are a part of.....home! Parents and immediate family are the primary leaders in the initial years of our lives. I learned all of my morals and values from my parents,grandmother, and older sister, because that is who I lived with. These are the people who taught me how to do everything that I should have known prior to attending school. When a child enters kindergarten, they already have a personality that has been molded by their home environment. I know for a fact that my girls watch me.....they watch me like a hawk. Their initial impression of how a woman is to carry herself, comes from me. Their first impressions of how a man should treat them, come from the way their father treats me.
We must understand and behold the fact that our behaviors and beliefs, are passed down from one generation to the next. Our children in lower socioeconomic neighborhoods are not necessarily the ones who suffer the most. In fact, these are your closer knit families. They may not have the biggest house, nicest car, or cable TV in every room, but they may have the love and support that keep them motivated. The upper echelon families are more prone to throwing money and material items at their children in place of the quality time that is necessary. Many of my behaviorally challenged, alternatively educated students are poor, but some are not. Some of them have two parents in the household who hold down full-time, decent-paying jobs! What went wrong? That is the magic question. My honest answer: We are heavily influenced by outside interests. We are influenced by law. We are intimidated by the fact that if we use some of the tactics used by our ancestors, that the heavy hand of the law will smack us around. Although it may be true that I will not physically discipline my children in public, they know from experience that negative behaviors will be checked in the privacy of our HOME!!!! The fear has navigated us away from being in control of our children. Sometimes I have to ask, who is the parent? Why are so many parents afraid of their children? You wouldn't believe how staggering the number really is. I am NOT afraid to be the mother that my mother was to me. She would knock me out first, and think about it later.....if at all. Most of the time, she would just keep it moving, and continue to converse with me as if nothing even happened (although would still be fuming). LOL. I had the comfort in knowing that my mother did what she did out of love. That made me who I am today; God-fearing, law-abiding, self-motivated, respectful, and a loving daughter, wife, sister, and mother. That is what tough love makes out of a child. Where is the tough love today? It exists, but not consistently and wide-spread. You will not believe how many of my students walk into school on the first day with about $300 worth of clothing and shoes. In my house growing up, if you mess up, you get nothing but the bare necessities. This is not the lesson we are now teaching. For example, there are parents who know their child is not supposed to bring cell phones to school. They actually sign a form of agreement upon registering their child for school. However, when the phone is taken by school authorities, parents break their necks to get to the school to retrieve it. Check this.....the student is caught with the phone the very next day! Moral taught....the child is above the rules (in real life this translates to the law). They grow up feeling a sense of entitlement, which they are in no way deserving. Mama ends up visiting them when they are 20, and a member of the prison system. So sad. So avoidable.
I am no where near being a perfect parent, but whatever my children do in the future, whether good or bad......I have done my part by utilizing those "old school" child-rearing tactics that were used upon my sisters and I. No excuses.
KiaWill.....PEACE!!
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